Sure thing, here goes nothing:
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Alright, so here I am, jabbering on about Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 + 4 — probably the coolest blast from our gaming past, getting a facelift or whatever it’s called. Early birds who snagged the Digital Deluxe thingy get their hands on it right this minute! As for everyone else, it drops on July 11. Xbox, PlayStation, Switch — you name it, it’s there. And if Game Pass is your thing, it’s there too. Everywhere all at once. Smart Delivery? Yeah, that’s a thing too.
I mean, who didn’t spend endless hours virtually skating around, attempting tricks we’d never dare to try IRL? Oh boy, stepping onto a real skateboard… yeah, let’s not. Anyway, the revamped version of these iconic games features cool new skaters — like eight of ’em you didn’t see coming. Plus, remember those secret skaters? Andy Anderson and Bam Margera are back. Sweet nostalgia.
Right, ingame, a bit more musical chaos with both golden oldies and fresh artists making the cut. Want to skateboard as Tony Hawk? Absolutely, why not! Or get creative with your own skater and park — it’s an endless pit of fun.
Okay, I’m rambling, let me get to the point. No idea why I feel like a human manual today, but here’s a tip or two for you beginners. Step one, belly crawl before you walk. Get your bearings with simple tricks like ollies and kickflips. Feelin’ fancy? Toss in some 360 Melons later. The streets are your practice ground, not some wild ramp where you splat face down.
Holding onto goals like collecting those S-K-A-T-E letters sounds silly until you get the hang of level layouts. Trust me, some levels, or whatever they call them nowadays, are weirdly designed to train ya without realizing it. But, who knows, maybe it’s just a happy accident.
Let’s suck for a while, and learn to bail gracefully — like, if you look like you’re about to eat dirt, just skip it! RT is your friend here. Keep those teeth and your special meter, believe me, you want ’em intact.
Talkin’ about pockets, each park seems to hide mysterious zones where you just pile those scores up. Take your time, sniff ‘em out like it’s your afternoon snack. What else? Oh, tweaking things like Hangtime, Air, and Speed in the Create-A-Skater thing seems to help a ton. Who knew stat allocation could be fun?
Gosh, this is getting long, gotta wrap it up. Just explore, feel the wind, maybe get sidetracked by the utterly unrelated yet amazing music or maybe spotting a place to rack up your score. And remember, this isn’t about being the best, it’s about having a bloody good time, right?
Anyway, if you did that pre-order jazz, you’ve already skipped half of this rant and are probably flipping through air right now. And yeah, after splashing $70 (ouch) on the Digital Deluxe, you get all sorts of cool extras like the Doom Slayer. Totally reasonable though — not judging anyone’s splurging habits here.
And if you didn’t? July 11 isn’t going anywhere fast. Just relax, and remember the game doesn’t vanish or anything.
Phew, did I cover it all? No idea. Go skate, discover, and mess around with your pixel board. That’s the fun of it, right? Catch ya later, in the chaotic spinning world of Tony Hawk nostalgia.
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There, I spilled my guts out. Hope it didn’t bore you all to tears. Skate or die trying, right?
