Schoolgirl Attends Full Metal Event at Switch 2 This October

"They can’t have ice cream, not anymore!"

So, if you’ve been scratching your head about those elusive Switch 2 game updates, maybe try pointing your gaze towards the eerie future of 2089 Japan. Yeah, I didn’t see that coming either. But hey, D3Publisher’s got your back with this wild announcement: Full Metal Schoolgirl lands on October 23rd. Mark your calendars or, you know, don’t.

Yuke’s, the folks who gave us EARTH DEFENSE FORCE: World Brothers 2 and AEW: Fight Forever, whipped up what they’re calling an “action-packed adventure with a heavy-duty attitude.” I mean, if you peek at the trailer, it’s like — woah, what just happened?

Anyway, wait — let’s let the official spiel do the heavy lifting:

Picture this: It’s 2089, and Japan’s basically taken over by Meternal Jobz, this mega-corp that’s keeping their undead cyborg workers, fondly known as the “Working Dead,” going non-stop like they never heard of a coffee break. You roll into the action as this badass cyborg schoolgirl on this personal vendetta tour. Your job? Scale this crazy 100-story skyscraper, knock some sense into zombie office guys, and take down a CEO with a serious superiority complex before things get messier than a middle-school cafeteria food fight.

Okajima over at D3Publisher says it’s about rebellion and chaos. No kidding! It’s a satire, or maybe a fever dream, of capitalism gone awry, loaded with bullets, blades, and yeah, your livestream crew cheering you on.

Plunging into this rebel rampage, you’ll be:

Taking Revenge as a Cyborg Schoolgirl: Gear up with fancy weaponry and snazzy cyber upgrades. Your mission: Take on Meternal Jobz, the baddest company out there, and knock the socks off those “Working Dead” guarding it.

Fighting in a Shape-Shifting Skyscraper: Imagine a 100-story maze that just can’t decide what it wants to be. Every climb is a new spin with fresh traps and ceilings that look at you funny. And the big boss? Up there, waiting to ruin your day.

Streaming Your Way to Victory: This is where it gets wacky. Defeat baddies to score materials and earn fan love through livestreaming. It’s like, “Hey, look at me not dying!” Get viewers, get goodies, and even if you face-plant, your audience is there for the laughs.

And if you’re itching to throw money at this, hang tight. No pre-orders for the Switch 2 yet, but their site’s up with extras. So browse or just let it be — your call.